full term today!

full-term sounds a little scarier than it is. it means i'm 37 weeks today and if i go into labor, the OB won't do anything to stop it because the baby's lungs are most likely mature enough to breathe on his own. BT weights about 6 1/3 pounds and measures a bit over 19 inches, head to heel (like a stalk of Swiss chard). he doesn't have the peach fuzz visible on the ultrasound like rani did, so maybe he won't be as much of a benjamin franklin as a kojak when he's born.

i was awakened at 4:30 this morning with a lot of cramping. after an hour of trying to ignore it hoping it was just hunger pangs, i realized i may be having a contraction. it's funny how i've forgotten what such intense pain could mean! it's now 5:45 AM and while waiting out the contraction,

i've eaten a bowl of cocoa puffs, downloaded all the pictures and recharged my camera in preparation, and started thinking of what i need to put in my hospital bag. yes, i'm a planner and am shocked at myself for not already having a hospital bag packed, but it was on the 'to do' list for today!

i cannot believe little BT is going to be here as early as a few days (or a few weeks) from now. it's amazing, but i'm scared. scared like i never was with rani. i'm nervous about labor, about having two kids, about being a good mom when i'm pulled in so many different directions. before rani was here, i didn't worry about the domestic side of my life--i figured it would just unfurl itself on its own with minimal need for dedicated cogitation.

i didn't think about setting up life insurance policies, or how to logistically fit a toddler, a newborn, my mom (who will be helping us out the first few months) and both of us into a two bedroom condo. i didn't check out kiddie events in parent magazines, or have a camcorder as a third arm, or have a hyped up sense of arousal when i saw a kid swinging too high on the swing. double strollers were just things that got in my way in elevators, and the only kind of pump i knew about was the kind i filled my tires with.

the entire axis of my world is shifting again, and it seems that having two kids only cements the loose gravel left over from the tectonic rumblings of one. i'm so happy about BT coming, but even after i start working again, i will truly transform into the quintessential soccer mom. happily. i'm okay with the minivan, the shoebox dioramas, the chaperoned trips to the museum. i'm excited about parent- teacher conferences and helping with music lessons. i cannot WAIT to teach them how to read! rani already recognizes most of the letters of the alphabet and has several of her books memorized, which makes me so proud, AND she sits on her potty and peruses car and driver magazine, which lifts rups' sense of accomplishment to an all-time high.

so it's almost 6:30 in the morning and the cramping has completely stopped. my first false contraction (as opposed to the hundreds of braxton-hicks contractions i've been having for the past month). so much for early contractions and a halloween baby. BT is supposed to be a november baby like rani and me, anyway.

a few hours later:
i just came back from my weekly OB visit, and she said since the cramping lasted so long, it was probably more a muscle spasm than a contraction. AND she said the second baby usually comes later than the first. wha...??? i am going to be ready after this weekend, so BT and i cut a deal that if he came between november 1st and 6th (rather than the 16th like he's scheduled to), i would resist putting him in the vast majority of rani's pink clothes. in fact, he was the one that suggested this compromise, so i have no doubt he'll follow through. otherwise, there are some very cute pink homecoming hats i've got prepared... i wonder if they make pink wee blockers.