First ultrasound!!!

Mood: Elated

this is kind of a late entry, but the emotions are still the same.

today I will have my first OB appt and r is in miami on an interview. We were kind of sad that we wouldn't be able to see the baby for the first time together, until the humor of his job hit us. he's a radiology resident and has access to ultrasound machines 24/7! duh. so about a week ago, 8 weeks and 1 day into the pregnancy, i surreptitiously snuck into his hospital while he was on call and nervously laid down on the paper-covered table. i was so nervous and excited i was even making small talk with him, which of course he called me out on. our friends, w and d, came with me for moral support (and to share in the excitement) and w held my hand while r set up the machine and put the lubricant on the probe and the probe on my slightly expanded abdomen. all of a sudden there he was. pinto patel. (we'd been jokingly referring to him as pinto for a few days since finding out at 8 weeks he was the size of a pinto bean, and as pinto just sounds like a boy's name, he became a boy that day).

he was beautiful. his beautifully curved head, the little arm and leg buds waving randomly, the slight rise of his abdomen. and then we saw the flutter. his heart was fluttering so fast and gently that it stopped mine. r was holding my hand by then and i squeezed it while tears welled up in my eyes. it had been real before, but at that moment it was REAL. we were both speechless. if you panned out of the room with a wide-angle camera, you'd see two to-be parents with goofy smiles on their faces watching a black and white fuzzy screen, mesmerized. the heart rate was 180, which i thought might be a little fast, but is actually fine. everything about him was fine--the fluid, the sac, the size, the heart, the shape. then the ultrasound tech turned on the speakers and we heard the heartbeat. whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh. one of the most amazing sounds in the human musical repertoire. it was the sound of health and delicacy and robustness and vulnerability all in one. i fell in love for the second time ever that day. and both times with patels.